


Camping might not be too bad

by Subaruchan192



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Camping, Celebrations, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mythology References, Nature, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Stargazing, Weekend trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subaruchan192/pseuds/Subaruchan192
Summary: Sonny has passed his bar and therefore gets to choose Rafael's and his first weekend trip. Much to Rafael's chagrin, Sonny decided to go camping. Rafael prepares himself for a horrible weekend, but, in the end, camping might not be too bad.~*~This is my entry for the BarisiSummer2020 Gift exchange and I had a lot of writing this =)
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 16
Kudos: 39
Collections: Barisi Summer Exchange 2020





	Camping might not be too bad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littleblacksubmarine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleblacksubmarine/gifts).



> My dear littleblacksubmarine, I was so happy and excited when I saw I get to write for you. I adore all of your work and your writing style and therefore, I felt especially motivated.
> 
> I hope you like it =)

“And you truly had to wish for _that_?”, Rafael asked disapprovingly as he starred at a tent pitched somewhere in the middle of the Catskills. There was absolutely nothing here, not even cell reception or mobile data. They were completely isolated, surrounded only by mountains which appeared to touch the sky. To say that he wasn’t delighted with the prospect of three days in this rocky hell was an understatement, but Sonny…Sonny was looking forward to this. During the entire drive up here over bumpy streets, he hadn’t stop talking about his family trips to camping sites all over the country.

“Hey, I passed the bar, so I got to choose our short trip. Your words," Sonny said. He shoved Rafael off with a warm, loving laugh and his eyes sparkled like aquamarines in the light of the setting sun while he smirked at him.   
  
That smile made Rafael feel very conflicted. On the one hand, he just wanted to wipe it from his face; on the other he wanted to kiss him until he heard that amazing man sigh into his mouth.

“Yeah, I know. I would have just hoped for something more…” Rafael sighed and waved his hand helplessly through the air.

“Luxurious?”, Sonny asked and his smirk grew cockier. Damn, Sonny truly had become more confident recently. Not that Rafael mind: he actually loved it; but, it took his breath away sometimes and he wasn’t as quick on a comeback as he would like.

“I was about to say romantic.”, Rafael said while he searched his way over the trampled path. Sonny walked a little ahead of him, and Rafael swore he could hear the chirping of a cricket somewhere off in the woods. How lovely. He was a damn city person and he certainly couldn’t see the appeal about _camping_.

“Oh, there’s nothing more romantic than camping. To be away from everything and just be together. No distractions. Just us.” Sonny turned around and gave Rafael that soft smile which always made Rafael weak in the knees and filled his stomach with butterflies. It was the smile which had made Rafael truly notice him the first time and have a closer look at him. A look with a different nature than professionalism. It had been that smile that had made his heart race for the first time in years; that smile which made him loose his trail of thoughts. It was the smile he looked forward to, and it was that smile which eventually made him fall in love with Sonny. This smile, with eyes glistening like diamonds and those cute little dimples hollowing his rosy cheeks, was and had always been Rafael’s weak spot. It was bright as the stars; and, whenever Rafael looked at it the world around him fell away.

“Come on, give it a chance. It’s only for three days.”

Yes, Rafael thought, and he was very tempted to start a countdown on his phone. At least the tent didn’t look too small.

“Besides…”, Sonny continued as he rested his traveller bag down on the porch and opened the zipper of the entrance. “It’s not like it’s a typical kind of camping. More like glamping.”

“Glamping?” Rafael frowned as he stepped closer to their temporary home.

“Yeah, glamourous camping. We have our own bathroom and don’t have to share with foreigners in a communal one. It's not like I want you to have a shower with a bearded lumberjack or something. What a culture shock that would be!”

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon,” Rafael grumbled.

“No, but ever since you got it you haven't let go of it, like a toddler eating ice cream for the first time.” Sonny laughed as he stepped into the tent, which still looked very unremarkable to Rafael. “Come, just give it a chance for me, please?”

And how was Rafael supposed to stay grumpy at that soft, pleading tone? Sonny truly had learned how to play him like an instrument and Rafael minded surprisingly little.

It was their first trip together. Actually, the first time they broke out of their known environment and rhythm, but Rafael had never been fond of the unknown. He had enough of that in his job; but, it appeared that Sonny asked Rafael to trust that he would provide a pleasant trip, even though it didn’t appear like it at first glance. And Rafael had promised to do whatever Sonny wanted. There was no backing out; and, well, he truly trusted Sonny. He was one of the few; because, trust contained a certain danger - something he had learned early on.

“Rafa?” Sonny poked his head out of the entrance and frowned at him. The joyful expression on his face had diminished a little. It stung inside Rafael’s heart like a needle.

Sonny held out is hand, asking of him to follow and Rafael huffed. This here was Sonny’s trip to celebrate his great achievement; and, Rafael wouldn’t allow any crickets, mud or his own scepticism to destroy it.

A soft smile spread over his face as he walked to Sonny and took his hand, which felt so right in his. It was soft and warm and simply perfect as if they were the missing pieces of each other’s puzzle.

Rafael smiled in defeat when his boyfriend eagerly tugged on his hand and pulled him inside. As Sonny stepped aside and gave free the sight of their domicile, Rafael put down his bag at the entrance in awe and looked around.

The tent looked surprisingly comfortable. It was about the size of an average junior suit with a king size box-spring bed, a small kitchen corner with a fridge, a couch and a bathroom ensuite. The highlight was the huge terrace in the back to which a second, transparent exit led. It seemed the tent rested on a cliff and offered a gaze over a hollow. There were even some deer were grazing at the moment, though they were nothing more than brown spots in endless green and grey.

“That actually looks quite nice," was all he could admit under the strict rules of their playful teasing as he turned around.

“See? I told you so! It’s not too bad," Sonny said enthusiastically.

The energy of his joy hit Rafael like a tide once again. Sometimes, he still had problems to handle all that strong buzzing, which danced like electricity in the air.

“Okay, yes, I have to give you that.”, Rafael grumbled playfully.

“It’s not like I want to torture you with this trip. A grumpy Rafael would spoil all the fun," Sonny pointed out as he began unpacking and storing all the groceries they brought along, though to Rafael it was more like half a grocery store.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Rafael rolled his eyes and strolled around the room with his hands in his pockets; but, then the terrace on the backside of the tent caught his eyes. The wide panorama of mountains opened up behind their bed, their pinnacles still covered in snow. It was an amazing, breath-taking view of the roughness and beauty that nature could own. Rafael truly had never been a nature kind of person, not like Sonny who had been a boy scout and sometimes still was; but, Rafael had to admit it had a certain appeal to be out here. It felt like time was slowing down around them, and they had been transferred into another dimension where their life couldn’t reach them even if it wanted to. Maybe no cell reception wasn’t as bad as he had thought. Maybe a weekend of just Sonny, where everything was reduced to the most elemental aspects was good thing to recharge his batteries. They had been running low for quite a while now and his iron mind wasn't quite able to cover it up anymore.

Sonny walked up to him so quietly that Rafael didn’t notice him until Sonny wrapped his strong arms around his hips and rested his head on his shoulder. His warmth spread around Rafael, covered him and offered a pleasant feeling of safety which only Sonny was able to provide.

“So, what do you want to do first?” Sonny whispered into his ear.

Sonny's warmth caused goosebumps to spread over Rafael’s neck as his soft lips touched his skin. Still, Rafael couldn’t help to frown and turned around in Sonny’s arms, resting a hand onto his chest. It shouldn’t be about what he wanted; but, it suited Sonny to ask that. Selfishness was not a trait which defined him.

Instead of answering, Rafael placed a brief but soft kiss onto Sonny’s warm lips, then dissolved from the embrace and walked his way up the fridge. The glass bottles in the door clinked as he opened it and got the champagne out.

“And now,” Rafael said solemnly as he filled their glasses, “we do, what we should have done right away.”

“And that is?”

“Raising our glass to you, _counsellor_.” The title felt wonderful on this tongue: heavy and right. Sonny deserved to be addressed like this. He worked so hard to achieve it. Rafael smiled softly, and raised his glass. “Congratulations, Sonny. I’m proud of you.”

Sonny was adorable when he blushed. The colour was rather pink than red and he casted his eyes down in embarrassment, still not used to being praised. He likely hadn't been very often while growing up with three sisters; though, Rafael didn’t know much about his family yet. He didn’t mind: his revelations about his family had also been rather forced, but this didn’t matter now. It didn’t matter at all. Rafael covered the few steps which separated them and first placed a kiss to his forehead, then to his champagne-tinged lips.

“It means so much to me that you say that," Sonny whispered into the loving silence which followed their kiss. He rested his forehead against Rafael's. “I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

Rafael frowned and threw a concerned gaze at him.

“That’s not true,” he replied. Rafael took the warm, soft hand with the long fingers and pulled Sonny down onto the couch with him. Rafael tenderly cradled his hands, his thumbs caressing his palm. “You achieved this all on your own.”

Rafael's heart sank a little when Sonny shook his head and a dark cloud covered his blue eyes. That was not, how he had wanted this to take place; but, it seemed that the feelings of inadequacy sat deep inside Sonny. Rafael wondered, where they were coming from.

“Not everyone had the advantage to accompany the best prosecutor to learn something.” The sadness in Sonny’s voice almost hurt physically. Sonny was incredible. Rafael knew that from the very beginning, but Sonny wasn’t able to see it himself.

“Sonny, hey, look at me,” he whispered softly, resting a comforting hand onto Sonny's shoulder. The other one touched his chin, gently turning Sonny's head so he would look into Rafael's eyes. “Most also don’t have the handicap of being a full-time cop for the SVU, while studying at night. It’s a great achievement. I’m proud of you and I’m not a person to say it often.”

“Rafael…”, Sonny whispered surprised, his eyes blown wide.

Rafael stroked a strand of hair away from his forehead.

 _“I love you”_ almost slipped from his lips, but Rafael caught it in the last minute. though he didn’t know exactly why and his heart appeared to be disappointed with him.

“You deserve all of this, Sonny,” Rafael continued, “And it’s your achievement alone.”

Sonny tried to speak; but, Rafael silenced him with a kiss, pouring all of the emotions into it he wasn’t brave enough to express yet. For a moment he felt Sonny go rigid, but then he sighed and sank into Rafael’s arms. Rafael held him tight while his lips carefully wiped every thought away.

“Thank you, Rafael.”, Sonny whispered, his eyes and voice shivering from the weight of his emotions.

“You’re welcome.” Rafael smiled as he placed a tender kiss to his forehead, hoping that Sonny was able to feel what he couldn’t put in words yet; and, it seemed, he did. A little tremble ran through him as if his body tried to shake him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Rafael could understand that.

Sometimes, in the depth of the night when he was awake and Sonny asleep, he wondered if the beautiful picture next to him was nothing more than a dream. In these moments when he doubted his own luck he couldn’t help but tenderly run his finger along Sonny's beautiful face, and he prayed silently that Sonny wouldn’t disappear. That was how much he was involved already and sometimes it still scared him: it was too beautiful, too smooth, too perfect. Rafael felt too comfortable and it made him afraid of the point when it could end. But on the other hand, this concern made him enjoy every moment - even those which sounded ridiculous: like going camping. 

As Rafael moved his lips away from his forehead, Sonny opened his radiant blue eyes. They shimmered with so much tenderness and affection that it caused Rafael’s heart to jump and to tighten his throat.   
  
There was something Rafael wanted to say; but, the sight of his beautiful boyfriend wiped every thought from his usually determined mind. Instead Rafael rested his forehead against Sonny's, just to stay in this moment for a little while longer; to be far away from everything and focus only on them. Just them; no distractions. He liked the idea of it.

 _You love him_ , a voice whispered in the back of his mind as Rafael simply enjoyed the feelings that flowed into him from the point their foreheads touched. Sonny took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Once again, the warm, wonderful feeling of rightness and belonging seeped through him. Not for the first time the thought that Sonny was his home teased his mind and it felt a little bit truer each time.

 _Yes, I do. I love him_ , Rafael thought. Though he didn’t feel brave enough to give that away just yet, he knew he would sometime soon. Sonny deserved to know how much he meant to him. He deserved to know how much he filled Rafael’s scared, but strong heart with joy and happiness.

Sonny leaned forward, tenderly brushing their noses together and Rafael had to chuckle. He had always thought of it as such a silly gesture; but, now that he experienced it, it was so tender, and he enjoyed it very much. It was another, more innocent kind of intimacy.

Then Sonny touched his chin, gently tilted his head back and kissed him softly. It was almost as soft as the spring breeze outside, which danced through the leaves and blossoms, carrying little petals through the air. Rafael sighed, and allowed himself to sink into it.

But even the most beautiful spell had to end; and, when Rafael opened his eyes again it felt like he was waking up from a dream. He blinked a few times, the surroundings behind Sonny slowly becoming sharper again and a tender smile danced across both of their faces.

“Shall we have dinner?” Sonny asked, interrupting the tender silence. Rafael’s stomach immediately rumbled loudly in agreement. It almost sounded like thunder or an angry beast. Rafael froze in embarrassment. For one second, it was deathly silent in the tent. The only sound was the crickets and birds chirping outside. Then Sonny burst into a bright laughter, drowning out everything outside. Rafael couldn’t help but join in as he overcame his state of shock.

“I guess someone’s hungry,” Sonny teased. His eyes twinkling mischievously, but the smile stayed kind.

“Well, I haven’t eaten since morning,” Rafael grumbled playfully.

Sonny laughed once again and shook his head, before he nudged Rafael with his elbow.

“What do you think of having a BBQ?”

“That sounds lovely,” Rafael admitted. A soft smile crept onto his face as he thought of the cool, pleasant evening air being filled with the scent of grilled meat.

“Then, come.” Sonny scrambled himself free from the mess of their entwined legs and arms and stood. He offered Rafael his hand, which Rafael accepted with a smile. Sonny pulled him up and placed a tender kiss to his knuckles. The blue in Sonny’s eyes lit up in a warm dance of ice and fire. He eagerly tucked on Rafael’s hand; and, Rafael knew he would follow him anywhere, even into the deepest of oceans.

Dinner was beautiful: pleasant, calm, and peaceful. Champagne glasses clinked together and knives cut into beautifully cooked steak, and not once did their smiles leave their faces. It wasn’t any different from the many dinners they had in Rafael’s flat, and it provided a feeling of familiarity even though he was far out of his comfort zone. Just like always, Sonny had hummed a canzonetta Rafael still didn’t know the words to and had danced through the small kitchen corner as he had prepared masses of meat Rafael had no idea they brought with them. Soon the heady, heavy scent of grilled meat floated through the air.

Now, the scent was gone: only a few particles remained as fading memories as they sat on the lounge. Night had fallen over the rough cliffs and the beautiful valley. Stars shone like little pearls in the night sky and the moon was on full display. A cold glass of scotch rested in Rafael’s hand as he listened to the unknown symphony of the nature. The crickets dominated the melody while some far away goats burked and made rocks roll down hillside; but, apart from that there was nothing there, making the landscape appear both empty and full at the same time.

Tranquility was something Rafael wasn’t used to. He had grown up in one of the loudest, busiest places of the world and only left it to study in another big city. His surroundings be so quiet that he could hear all those whispers in the depths of his mind was a completely new experience to him. It was one which unsettled him slightly, but filled him with a certain peacefulness he had never experienced before. His life was fast - nothing more than a rush of pictures - but, now everything around him slowed down to this single and precious moment and Rafael began to appreciate it more.

“And this is Ursa Major.” Sonny pointed towards a constellation of the stars, seven of them especially bright. He rested on the lounge next to him, his blue eyes shining in competition with the stars about which he had been telling Rafael about for quite some time now. His voice was full of awe as he related stories from thousands of years. It was a side of him Rafael had never experienced before - like so many things he was experiencing the first time this weekend. Sonny was the same and yet another person. His soft side - normally hidden by his job - shone brighter than ever. He couldn’t be any more beautiful. “The myth says it is the metamorphosed Calisto. She was…”

“A nymph in ancient Greece, the daughter of the king of Lokonyen. She was a follower of Artemis, the Goddess of the Hunt. The moment Zeus discovered her, he desired her, but no men were allowed in Artemis’ forests and her followers vowed to never have sex. Therefore, he transformed into Artemis, and approached Calisto when she bathed in a river. Calisto was surprised and flattered that her Goddess touched her, caressed her and therefore, she gave herself to her goddess, not knowing that it was Zeus in disguise. A few months later, she was surprised to find she was pregnant. Artemis found out and had to chase her away, because she broke the oath. On her own, she gave birth to a son, Arcas. Now, Zeus’ cheating couldn’t be denied anymore and his jealous wife Hera was furious at being shamed once again. As revenge she took away Calisto’s physical appearance which had caught her husband’s eye, and turned her into a bear to roam Artemis’ forests. Years later, Arcas was hunting a huge bear, not knowing that it was his mother. To save her from being killed by her own son and to spare Arcas from the unforgiveable insult to the Gods of murdering his mother, Zeus turned Calisto and her son into the stars, where they could forever be united. That was the birth of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. The Great Bear and the Lesser Bear.”

Stunned, Sonny looked over at Rafael, his blue eyes shining at him with the same awe and wonder with which he had looked at the stars.

Rafael smirked and winked.

“You’ll never find friends in Harvard if you don’t know all of Greece’s mythology. People there are obsessed with Europe and envy it for its history, ignoring that America has its own. It’s just not theirs.”

“Then why haven’t you told me that you know all of these stories?” Sonny whispered.

“Because I enjoy listening to you,” Rafael explained. “Each narrator adds something to the way they tell a story: their opinions, their experiences and their emotions, and I love your way.”

“How do I tell them?” 

“With all of your emotions. Each story you tell carries all your empathy, compassion and joy. It’s beautiful and enthralling to listen to them.”

“I’ve never thought I’d be a good storyteller.”

“There isn’t such a thing as the perfect narrator. Some prefer Stephen King, Tolkien or Nicholas Sparks and that’s perfectly fine, because what people hope to find in a story is different for everybody.” He smiled tenderly as he turned to him. “But your way of telling a story is perfect for me, because it feels like it brings colours to my normally grey and sometimes black world.”

“Rafael…” Sonny gasped in surprise.   
  
Rafael could almost hear Sonny’s heart skipping a beat. He turned his head towards him and this time the love he had tried to hide was on full display in his green eyes.

Before Rafael - and maybe even Sonny himself - realized it, the new lawyer had got up from the lounge and his feet carried him over to Rafael. He sat down next to him, reached out and tenderly caressed Rafael’s cheek. It seemed to Rafael as if Sonny wanted to express his gratitude for Rafael’s words, although it wasn’t necessary. He had meant every word he had said and there were so many more intense ones waiting inside his heart to finally see the light of day.

Rafael looked up at Sonny and captured his blue eyes with his own. A blush appeared on Sonny’s cheeks, colouring them in a dawn-like crimson.

It was this expression his Sonny’s eyes which made Rafael aware that his own had told him everything he felt.

Rafael cupped Sonny's cheek and savoured the feeling of connection and peace which spread through him from where they touched. It was a feeling only Sonny could provide him and the longer he let it pour into him the more he realized it had always been like this. Sonny’s kindness had always provided him a feeling of peace and safety: a feeling he had barely known in his life. It had enthralled him from the very moment he had been able to see behind his moustache. That had scared him, but over the time he had grown fond of him and the fear - which had been implemented by his father and strengthened by his job - had faded. Sonny’s light was too bright for the darkness in the depths of his soul to withstand.

“I love you,” Rafael whispered into Sonny’s palm. He kissed it softly.

Sonny's breath hitched in his lung and he shivered.

Rafael didn’t know what reaction he had expected, but silence wasn’t it. A quiet Sonny was rare: he tended to speak too much rather than fall silent; but, now not even the crickets were chirping anymore. It was as if the nature was holding its breath as it waited for an answer. Rafael swallowed. He felt utterly exposed and vulnerable with his bare soul offered to Sonny. What if Sonny rejected him, or just didn't feel the same way Rafael did? Never had he given somebody so much; never had he allowed anyone this close.

A few moments passed in which he could only hear his heart beating in his throat and blood thundering through his ears.

“Raf…did you just? You…you love me?” The question was nothing but a breath, immediately carried away by the playful spring breeze. Rafael inhaled deeply and collected all of his courage to overcome the fear of rejection clenching his stomach.

“I do.” Slowly, Rafael lifted his gaze and looked at Sonny through his lashes. The sight chased the numb feeling in his bones away. Little crystal tears shimmered in Sonny’s eyes and the crimson on his cheek turned even darker. ~~~~

Rafael sat up and wiped the tears away. Sonny huffed, the wide glance in his eyes narrowing down to just him and he smiled softly as he rested his cheek in Rafael’s palm.

“I love you, too, Rafael,” he whispered. Sonny leaned in to capture Rafael’s lips for a kiss, and the world around them disappeared. Spirits of ancient times on the firmament looked down to them with a tender smile as their lips brushed against each other, sealing the vow they just made.

For the first time ever since they left the car Rafael wished the moment would last forever.

Maybe camping might not be too bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much fun writing it and I hope I was able to transport it =) Maybe I write more scenes in this camping scenario ^-^
> 
> I hope you like it, littleblacksubmarine and it was how you imagined it to be.
> 
> I wish you all a wonderful weekend and a lot of fun reading the other works =)
> 
> Greetings, Subaru. <3


End file.
